Randomness Ranting...

I was starting to seriously think no one read my blog, but my sister finally told me she couldn't comment on my blog. Umm... see I was trying to avoid the pop-up window thing, but I guess I did something wrong and yeah. I think it's fixed now. With that being said, I didn't know what to blog about so people would comment, but I'm glad to know it's not me :)

Life has been pretty stressful for me, but who wants to hear about that, right? Well keep reading if you are interested. I've been at my breaking point for o about a month now. Surprisingly I haven't broke, but I know it's coming soon. Like work for instance, yep big stresser. Or like Markus not having a job, yep big stresser. Or like my 2 jobs, church calling, homeowners assoc, and SIL's wedding "I need your help" all at once... Not real sure where keeping my head above water is supposed to be. Time is precious to me, more so than money. Funny though how when you only have a one income household how some think it's a money thing. Nope not for me.

SILs wedding is coming this weekend. I can hardly believe it after 1-1/2 years of engagement! I'm just amazed (Markus and I both) at just how different this wedding is from ours. Like how much help can one person receive? AND how she's "Entitled" to it. Or so that is what Markus & I have come to decide. See when Markus and I got married I think we were a little too adult about it. What do I mean by that?? Well basically it went like this... We understand we are adults here and we don't EXPECT you to help us, but anything you can do would be greatly appreciated... AND it was. We should have expected more, right? Like we are soooo... entitled to Everything. K enough about this, I could go on for days about favoritism.

Markus doesn't have a job. Not sure if I've mentioned that before. I love it and hate it all in the same breath. Here's why. Markus has spent a ridiculous amount of time studying this semester in Biology, but especially Calculus contrary to what some have said about his jobless self. He doesn't have as much free time as you might think. I would like to think that by him devoting the proper time to studying that he might graduate (one day) a little sooner than if he were to still be working almost 40 hours plus a week and taking call rotations. Now I hate it because I'm it. I'm all we have to eat, live, drive, etc. That's nerve racking in and of itself for those who know how supporting a family feels. Wow I was so not cut out to be the breadwinner. At least not all by myself. Nothing feels worse then to come home and everything pretty much looks the same as you left it. Or to know that XBOX is sometimes more important. hehehe... But ultimately we are doing ok with this. I mean like I said earlier I haven't broken yet. :O Sigh Somehow we are still able to have a house with food in it and a car to pull in the driveway... What more could one ask for???

Yes now one day I would like to be a mother. Weird I know? I almost had it planned out. I could quit my job. Get pregnant, get on some sort of benefits. Still keep my house, get assistance for Markus' schooling cause we sure could afford to pay for it and have the baby and I could be a SAHM. All with the help of the government :) Now it could never happen this way because that is just not Markus and I. We don't have luck. We have all the hard breaks. One day I will see why it was that way... but for now I'll just dream that I will be able to get prego and stay at home with my kid or kiddos while my husband's paid for by us education helps support our family. That has a much nicer ring to my ears. Ahhh...