You Make It Real {Markus}

It's weeks like last week that all I need is you. Nothing else matters but you and me (and Trevor). I am so happy to have you in my life. Seriously so blessed you are mine. I dedicate this song to you my love. Yeah I know it's not Valentine's day yet... and you hate it anyway, but I love you and wanted you to know it's not just on Valentine's when the "Mush" comes out. You make it real to me baby. I love you baby!

Light shed on Christopher

Growing up, I always remember my mom saying I was supposed to be a twin. It never made sense to me and always confused me because I have twin sisters.  Mom would always tell me our names would have been Jennifer & Christopher.  I took it in stride, but never really forgot about "Jennifer & Christopher". 

With the recent sadness of our miscarriage, I felt obligated to tell my mom like I did everyone else, not cause I wanted to...  And she told me that when she was about 5-6 weeks pregnant she started bleeding too.  I looked at her like, huh?  What?  She said basically from what her Dr. said she was pregnant with 2 and when she started bleeding she lost one.  I was the only one born.  I butchered the story but somehow my mom had a miscarriage while still pregnant with me.  I know.  Crazy.  But that story also helped me to see that God has a plan.  And I considered the name Christopher when naming Trevor, but quickly dismissed it because Markus has a cousin named Christopher (Wilson).  Just another interesting piece to the puzzle of life :/

Valentine's Day Card {Updated Version}

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.

****Did I mention I LOVE their cards!****  Seriously the best quality of cards.  You have to check them out!  What are you waiting for?

A Surprised Hurt

Not sure how to feel at this moment...  feeling like it needs to be out so I can move on.  If that makes sense.  Ever get bad news and you wanted to tell someone, but you don't want to?  That is today.  That has been my Sunday night thru my Wednesday afternoon... until now.  The bad news is confirmed.  It hurts.  It sucks.  It WAS so perfect.  Least I thought it was, but not any more.  It's official.  I had a miscarriage.  No surprise Valentine's news, throw away the positive pregnancy tests, the cute shirt I surprised Markus with, the Valentine's cards ordered with "Baby #2" written on them, don't worry about cleaning out the office out to make room... it's gone.