Day 28: What if you were pregnant? What would you do?

Haha!  This has been an long-standing joke around my office.  I just laugh.  Ok, so now I have to tell my funny story.  It relates to this topic, I promise.  Better yet, go HERE and read all about it.  It's cute.  So if I found out I were pregnant I would laugh and figure out a hilarious way to tell Markus.  Cause I didn't get to on the first go round.  Now ask me this in a few months and I would be bouncing off the walls.  I don't want to be the mom with years and years in between children.  To boot, I'm not getting any younger.  That is always a convenient line.  But hey, it's the truth.  I look forward to doing it all over again.  I can't wait to start trying again.  But it will be a little bit.  After all Trevor will be 7 months next week.  So we have several more months to wait for that. 

P.S. I loved being pregnant.

Day 27: What's the best thing going for you right now?

The best thing?  Well I think being a mom is absolutely wonderful.  I am probably the happiest mom alive when I peek into Trevor's room and he smiles and laughs as he is waking up.  Seriously nothing is better.  It makes me hate work.  I wish I could stay with him all day.  We only spend 3 hours a day with each other and that is a maximum between morning and night.  It's just crazy how I wish it could last forever.  It makes our time together so precious.   And I love every minute of that child.  I just pray he knows how much Markus and I love him even though we don't get to spend a lot of time with him.  

Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? When and Why?

I get depressed.  Rarely to the point where I want to give up on life.  But as a teenager, it was sort of a never ending thing.  It wasn't until adulthood that I found the freedom that I so desperately wanted.  I really hated my life as a teenager.  My younger sisters in my opinion lived such a blissful life compared to me.  They got to choose the high school they attended.  They got to play sports.  They got to go to all of their dances and stay out much later than I did.  They got to drive before I did.  Gosh I could go on.  I always felt like my mom was singling me out.  Constantly.  I seemed to have given her the most trouble.  Fast forward... little did she know I would give her such glory as an adult.  So as a teenager I usually felt better off dead.  I was a lot more dramatic as a teenager too.  But thankfully we all grow up.  For those of us that are lucky enough, we are normal too.  I happened to make it out normal.  I think I wanted it so bad that I refused to accept anything different.  Personally I like it way better.  I feel like I have a purpose and I love not being under my old roof.  Ahhh...

Day 25: The Reason you are still alive today

I think God has a plan for all of us.  I don't think we leave this earth until that plan is fulfilled.  Obviously God intended me be a wife first and then a mother.  I'm sure there are more things in store for me.  I have learned so much in life and have so much more to learn and live before I die.  Even though some leave this world too early, I think that is the way Heavenly Father intended it to be.  We all have a purpose.   It's just finding it and fulfilling it.

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

(Just post the titles and artists and letter)

I dedicate these songs to my sweetheart, Markus Christian, I love you baby!  In no particular order:

Lost By: Michael Buble- Because I know you will always be there with me, even through the crappy times
Lucky By: Jason Mraz featuring Colbie Caillat- You are my best friend :)
Say By: John Mayer- You always let me speak my peace
My Life Would Suck Without You By: Kelly Clarkson- Obvisouly... my life would suck without you!
Keep Holding On By: Avril Lavigne- This is how I feel about your college education... for both of us
Sway By: Michael Buble- One day you will twirl me around the dance floor to this song...
I Could Not Ask For More By: Sara Evans- Our first dance as husband and wife... I will never forget it!
Magic By: Colbie Caillat- That's what we are :)
Can't Take My Eyes Off You By: Lauryn Hill- You are the HOTNESS!!  Or as Britney would say "Walking Dessert"  haha!
We Just Can't Get Enough By: New Radicals- Never get enough of you :)
Secrets By: One Republic- I can tell you all my secrets... you are such a good listener
You Got Me By: Colbie Caillat- Cause I'm stuck on you

I could go on but you get the point.  Too bad we don't like the same music.  Some days being opposites has their downside.  I wish we liked the same music.  It has a way of expressing my feelings when I sometimes don't have the words to do so, like now.  Perfect Prelude to the week of our Anniversary.  I look forward to spending the day with you.  I'm so glad you took the day off.  Finally, we can spend some time together.

Love,

Jenn

Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life

The saying, "It's never too late" comes to mind.  So I know that there is still time, but I wish I had gone to college.  It's so frustrating to be behind everyone else.  Easy to compare myself to others, but it's something that is almost understood when you are in your early twenties.  You go to college.  Now that I'm in my late twenties... it seems like time is running out for me.  I went to beauty school but the first thing people ask me when they find out I went was, "did you drop out?"  Just because I am not doing hair as a career doesn't mean I necessarily dropped out.  It's been annoying to me to be in the work force with no college education.  By the time Markus graduates it will be more babies for me.  When does college fit into the picture?  To me, it appears it will never happen for me.  But yet I'm expected to make a living and provide for my family without this.  I do pretty good for myself/family, but I could do better and go further if I but had an education.  That's all I'm saying.  Maybe one day...

Day 22: Something you wish you hadn't done in your life

Some days I wish I had not left Seattle.  I do.  I would probably have stuck with hair instead of the lame excuses I come up with nowadays.  Truthfully, I miss it.  I would love to work in a salon there, esp in the city.  I miss my daddy.  I think if I would not have moved back down here, I could have spent the last couple of years of his life with him.  It's just crazy where life takes you.  Guess I'll never know!