Wanted

I just saw this performed on the CMAs. I love this song. I dedicate this to my hubby. Who last night knew all I needed was... to be wanted. And you made me feel wanted as I cried myself to sleep. I love you Markus. You are always there for me when I can't say any words. Seriously you made it better (well temporarily) til I could sleep it all off. I love you honey!

I graduated!

Today was my last official day of Physical Therapy. I was a bit sad to leave, but feel tremendously better now than I did when I started. They even gave me a t-shirt (pictured below)! I was excited about that.

It's been a short road to recovery in comparison to what it could have been, but I am so thankful I was able to go. I learned so much about my body and why/how I have the problem I do and the way it can be fixed or worked on. That was enough of an education to me that I can take with me and use. I got myself an SI (sacrum and illium joint) belt and today got a resistant band I had been working with to help my healing/recovery process even more at home.  I am motivated not to have this pain in my back... let me tell you!  I wouldn't say it's 100% by any stretch.  I still have quite a ways to go, but I am getting there and I'm motivated to get there and that is what is important.  I only have one body and I have to take care of it.  So here's to graduating from PT!  I hope the Dr. is pleased with my progress too!  Now I'm off to do my exercises and watch the CMAs.  :)

God Gave Me You: MCW

I heard this song recently and couldn't help but share it. I love you Markus Christian Wilson. You are my heart. Especially in times like these :)

Truck

Trevor got a new truck a couple of weeks ago. He is SO attached. Truth is, his babysitter has the same one and he loved it so much, I felt the need to get him one for our house... not dreaming it would be close to $50! It was worth it by looking at these pics from the weekend :)

Doing his thing :)

Auntie Omi pushing him!

Chillin' in the dump truck!

Auntie Steph taking pics of him... haha!  Caught in the act :)

Too cute!

1/2 smile

He is all boy.  This truck is just one of the proofs of that.  Today he "parked" the truck in between the couch and the coffee table and got in the truck and jumped to the couch.  I just laughed.  Where does he learn this from?  I love this kid!

A Blessing in disguise

Another long and hard week under my belt.  Only this one yielded new surprises... with my body.  I am still having back pain, not unbearable by any stretch, but nonetheless... it's there.  And it wasn't there before the accident.  So, I decided after getting a message the week before last and that only holding me over a day, and the prescribed Flexerel not doing anything, I had to do something!  So I booked an appointment with an Orthopedic Dr.  After filling out a series of paperwork, I got some X-rays taken and waited for the Dr.  I spoke to the PA (I thought he was the Dr.) briefly about the accident and the annoying pain that would not go away!  He then said he would get with Dr. Smith to look at the X-rays.  I thought, how weird and then waited.  Well much to my surprise he told me I had fractures in my back!  If you were like me, I needed it to be said again, I HAVE FRACTURE(S) IN MY BACK!!!  I freaked!  I was not prepared to hear that.  No way, no how.  My mouth dropped as the Dr. had this look on his face like, "I'll take it this is the first time you have ever received this news" look.  Then once I got over it... kind of if there is such a thing... he said they look like they have been there a while.  I'm not sure if this was supposed to make me feel better, but I've only had one time in my life where I had the most terrible back pain EVER.  That was when I was in middle school, and I went to the chiropractor and 2 visits later I was healed... or so I thought.  He said perhaps the fractures dated back to that incident.  As if he wasn't done, we continued to look at the X-rays and he showed me where I have a bone moving in my back/hip area.  I said oh ok, isn't that normal?  I am so naive!  He said No!  Bones aren't supposed to move.  I think I as trying to make myself feel better.  Ok, so great, now what.  I asked him what could be done for this, he said to stabilize it.  Um excuse me, what exactly does that mean?  The Dr. proceeded to say if it wasn't bothering me, he suggested leaving it alone.  Well, being that I had only JUST received this news 5 minutes previously, it only had time to marinate and bother me of course.  So all I could mutter was, "Um, I'm good".  I was so disappointed in my body.  All I could think of was, I'll never have another baby.  The Dr. wrote me up an order for Physical Therapy 3x a week and said he wanted to see me back in 6 weeks.  I got a Prednisone pack and an anti-inflammatory on top of that.  He assured me by the end of therapy that I should be feeling better and hopefully have minimal pain.  I do want to trust in his judgement, but I'm left to think what the heck!  It definitely answers a lot of questions about the weirdness I have felt in my back. 

So as I have had a little less than a week to absorb all of the above mentioned, I can't help but think what a blessing in disguise this truly was.  How the Lord held my hand and lead me to get help for my poor aching body.  (I wanted to insert old in that last sentence, but couldn't bare to as 30 is quickly approaching).  I know the Lord performs miracles everyday, and my prayer is that my body will heal or at least get stronger to take on what lies ahead for me and my family.  Goodness knows I miss riding my bike and doing yard work and yearning for another baby and everything else that hurts my back at the moment.  I'm trying to see the good in this as I seek help for what I had no idea even existed in the first place, other than pain.

Friday surprise!

After a long week of dealing with insurance companies, shopping for a new car, and back pain I was over the week! What a stressful thing this accident has been. I think Markus could see things were getting to me. He was off on Friday and we met up at my office after I had gotten then rental car to trade vehicles. He pulled up the center console of his Papa's car and I saw a pretty red wrapped box with a gold sticker that said Dillard's. Surely he didn't buy this perfume I had my eye on... He tried to tell me it wasn't the perfume. I couldn't imagine it to be anything else. It was like he was proposing all over again.. Least that's what it reminded me of. He cracked me up an certainly caught me off guard with this pretty surprise. Talk about make my week!

It's called "Dot" by: Marc Jacobs

Scary Grateful

Thursday was just like any other ordinary weekday for me. Drop Trevor off at the babysitter's house, go to work, pray I don't have to stay late, leave and get Trevor and head home.  Not terribly unusual about that.  Until I reach the 1 mile stretch to my house.  I turn left on to Antioch Rd., see a lady is turning left in her subdivision so I start slowing down.  Pretty fast at first (cause I'm in Markus' car not my truck) and then realize I have a little more room than I anticipated, so I coasted into her and come to a stop.  I'm a retard when it comes to driving sometimes, and constantly look in my rear view to see who's behind me while I'm stopped.  IDK it's just interesting to me I guess.  Until I see this person in a truck fastly approaching my vehicle.  I panicked.  I thought surely they will stop.  She got closer and closer.  I think I looked away and still panicked and started screaming they aren't going to stop.  I couldn't go anywhere!!!  All I remember is the truck slamming into my vehicle, and me being pushed into oncoming traffic (it's only a 2-lane Hwy) and I'm in the middle of the road.  I didn't even realize another vehicle hit mine in the front until I pulled over and saw it in the ditch.  My screaming really scared Trevor.  He was screaming at the top of his lungs too.   My Momma intuitions kicked in.  All I knew is I had to get my baby out of the car.  I couldn't open my door at first.  I was mad.  The madness quickly set in and overtook my whole body (as it usually does).  Once I got my door open I got out, screamed a few choice words towards her vehicle and ran around to the other side of the car where my poor little son sat.  THE DOOR WOULD NOT OPEN!!!!  LET ME REPEAT, THE DOOR WOULD NOT OPEN!  I was not the happiest camper.  I wanted to run across the road and beat the living tar out of whoever it was that hit me.  My baby's life was just put in danger.  You do not mess with my baby.  Ever!  Period.  But somehow my brain turned back to my son.  I couldn't think how I was to get to stupid door open.  I pulled and yanked.  The handle was seriously about to break.  I opened the passenger door.  Then thought, I can't get him out like this.  My brain was dumb.  So I ran around to the other door (drivers side back door) and opened it.  He was so upset.  I was dying inside because he couldn't talk.  All he could do was cry.  I wanted to cry.  I didn't know how to.  I sort of forgot how to when I saw my baby in shambles.  Shaking, I managed to pull him out of his car seat and do what Momma's do, bring their child close to the chest.  I kissed him and loved him like I never had before.  I was so thankful I could get him out of his seat.  I then went to the drivers seat to get my phone.  I didn't know who to call first.  Seriously I know that is the most retarded thing to say, but that was my reality.  I dialed 911 then quickly hung up.  I thought, I need the Sheriff's office not 911.  Not sure how that made more sense to me, but it did.  So I started shuffling thru my contacts (it used to be on speed dial) and right before I found it, my darling husband was ringing in.  I was somehow relieved to see his name on my phone.  I answered it.  He later told me that when I answered the phone and told him we were in an accident, I sounded like I had a concussion.  I was so out of sorts.  Imagine that?  Anyway, I don't ask for help as a general rule, but he asked if he should come by and I said yes.  He said ok, I'm on my way.  I hung up and was on my way to the sheriff's call.  Gave them all the details and proceeded to check on the others.  I looked across the street and then down the road and that is when I saw another car in the ditch.  I couldn't even remember being hit by another car, but there she was in the ditch.  I felt horrible and even madder at the lady who hit me.  So across the street I go to check on her.  I asked her if she was ok.  She was stretched across the front seat of the truck and all she said was, "I hit my head, I hit my head".  I didn't have a lot of compassion at that point and turned around and walked back across the street to check on the people in the ditch.  Now, I must say if this accident could have happened anywhere better, it would have to have been in front of a hospital.  It happened in front of the St. George Fire Dept building.  Lucky lady, cause she had Medics at her becking call.  So that is why I wasn't too worried, or compassionate for the record.  My heart sank again when I got to the passenger(S) whose car was in the ditch.  They had 4 people in the car!  Of which, 2 were boys.  I was so sad.  They appeared to be fine.  The driver hit her head on the windshield.  She was bleeding.  I was so apologetic.  I couldn't stop saying sorry.  I talked with the little boys who were more in shock than anything.  It was so awful.

Candy Red's short life :(

A side view

Close up, see Markus' golf clubs?

I've stared at these pics for a day now and have come up with this.  I'm grateful number one.  Out of all the people involved in the wreck, we didn't have any bleeding or heads against the windshield.  It's crazy.  Second, I truly believe if it wasn't for Markus' bag of golf clubs and the big heavy duty ice chest (both of which we forgot to hand out last weekend) Trevor might have been badly injured.  The mangled trunk would have been at his little feet/legs.  Thirdly, had he not been in a rear-facing car seat, he probably would have been hurt by the impact.  I am truly grateful that the Lord saw fit to put all of these things in the way of my little son.  I am so thankful he is ok.

The front of the car that also was hit by the oncoming traffic.

Another side view

Poor Candy.

My awesome lightweight stroller is stuck in the mangled car :(  We couldn't get it out.

So now, it's just a wait and see if it's totaled.  We have started shopping for new cars just in case.  I think shopping for cars is worse than shopping for houses.  So this isn't the exciting part for me.  Especially since I'm so cheap and cars so aren't!  I pray we can get into something comparable if that is what it turns out to be.  Candy was sure perfect for us in a lot of different ways.  But she is replaceable.  What a huge inconvenience.